Bucket List

I don't have an official Bucket List.
Maybe I'll make one
as part of my 'entering' a new year.

However, if I did have one
One item would be
to participate in a flash mob.

Seriously, look how happy it makes people?
I think it could be the answer to some of lifes
greatest challenges.



Truth about me:
I tear up nearly every time I watch a flash mob video
Not even kidding.

(Typed with only a bottle of water to keep me company ... and a bag of dried persimmons)

Where is the Love?

I have often found myself wondering
"Where is the love...
for North Korea?"

Who is willing to love that nation?
Who is willing to advocate for the millions
who are not the dictators, old and new?

Every piece of news
stereotype
gripe
that comes regarding North Korea

Considering recent news
and my morning prayer times
which have revolved around
'neighbors'
I find this clip, refreshing.

(Typed having recently finished a yellow teacup of Let's Do Teas Figgy Pudding black tea, my heart couldn't be happier)

Neighbors

Two things today
have stirred my soul.

Leads me to thinking about
Neighbors
Love
Peace
One another-ing
Living what I believe.

Does this prayer stir your soul?
Does the song stir your soul?

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;



where there is hatred, let me sow love;


when there is injury, pardon;


where there is doubt, faith;


where there is despair, hope;


where there is darkness, light;


and where there is sadness, joy.


Grant that I may not so much seek


to be consoled as to console;


to be understood, as to understand,


to be loved as to love;


for it is in giving that we receive,


it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,


and it is in dying [to ourselves] that we are born to eternal life.

~St. Francis

Korean Love Affair: Part Three

I'd be lying if I said things have been perfect
or even easily manageable
for the past couple weeks.

But I'm working at living out the advice of a good friend:
Find what you love about Korea
and when Korea is winning
INDULGE in what only she can provide

This weekend
setting out on a few various projects
one a secret, one for learning Korean, one for the Masters
I saw before me this:



Items from a Korean stationary store.

I love it all. It's adorable. Happy. Random.
It's SUPER cheap and incredibly functional.

I'll miss this when we leave.
So for now I'll 'indulge' and enjoy.

It's one of Korea's many gifts to me
and for that, I'm thankful

Uhm - Yes Please!

Tea is still a passion.
I love tea.
Loose Tea.
Green Tea Latte
Tea for Broth.
It's definitely a 'thing'

So, when a friend directed me to this little ditty
My heart was filled with joy!

My only response:
'Uhm, Yes, Please!'

(Typed while yearning for a cup of tea yet not drinking one at the time of post)

Interpretation

An attempt at recreating an English Notebook I recently saw:

Sports is MY LIFE

DREAMS COME TRUE

The time for trying

for bright future!

You are my sweet song

and you are a honey

melody, the girl who

has many pink dreams

I have dreams and hopes

I think this is a fairly accurate illustration

of how I'm currently perceiving my days

and interactions

Confusing. Misunderstood.

Slightly ridiculous.

A Mix of seemingly unrelated content.

Attempting sweetness and kindness.

Encouraging.

At the heart, goodness.

Well-intentioned communications.

Today, I will work on interpretation,

under the pretense that

the Heart is Good.

And because for me, it connects

I'll end with a song that.

One that answers my hearts cry of Homesick

One that serves as an anthem for Interpretation.

 

Thanks Erin for the recommendation

(Typed while enjoying the first mug of tea for the day, Earl Grey, sugar, splash of milk from a darling brown bone-china mug)

Butterflies

I have loads on my mind. I've mentally written about 10 different blogs.
I'm facing emotions that I haven't seen much of. That I don't fully understand.

Writing is my number one go to in these situations.
Paper and Pencil
Keyboard and Computer Screen.
This is what I long for
when I can't make sense of things.

So I sat here. At my computer screen.

So many things on my mind.

No idea where to begin.

And these lyrics came to mind:

'If thoughts were butterflies

a thousand would be flutter flying,

round about all throughout,

the vast expanse between my ears.'

~ Olivia the Band

These lyrics are a summation of my current mental state. Thoughts. Flying.

In a space that seems too vast to manage them.

In time

I will get to writing

making sense of things

In a journal

on a blog.

For now

I accept these butterflies

giving them proper reflection

and consideration.

As I make sense of them

I will release them

in hopes that they will offer

love. hope. beauty. truth. honesty.

(Typed while finishing my third cup of Brown Rice Green Tea in a Jeonju University mug)

Choosing Love

"I believe more in the Sacred of Ordinary" - Jessica Mercer Zerr



Read an article from
This I Believe from
a Facebook Link
called:
The Love I Choose
(highly recommend).

Not a day goes by

that I don't recognize how blessed

I am

to have the husband I do.

None other

Supports. Loves. Cares. Encourages.

Challenges. Questions.

Me, like he does.

None other

Smiles. Laughs. Speaks without Words.

Serves. Experiences.

Like he does.

He is my perfect match.

the one who completes me.

the one who knows me.

the one who chose me.

And I choose him.

Everyday.

Every moment.

Extraordinary

or

Ordinary.

(Typed while finishing off an Angel-in-us-Coffee cafe latte offered to my husband, given to me).

P.S. He is amazingly deep and yet utterly simple - hence why when he blogs it's something such as this.

Meditation: III

The problem with choosing to memorize Psalm 139 in it entirety
is that I can't skip over the verses that make me feel uncomfortable.
the verses that confuse me
the verses that make make me ask
difficult questions.

I don't know exactly what it is about this weeks verse

but it was difficult for me.

and -- it was so good for me.

As I share my reflections

remember, I'm not a theologian

just a girl who finds hope and comfort

in the being of Christ and the existence of God.



(This is how this verse makes me feel. A little less sure yet hopeful nonetheless.)

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthristy men!

They speak of you with evil intent;

your advirsaries misuse your name.

Psalm 139: 19-20

Thought 1:

This is humanities greatest question

a roadblock for many

'Why does evil exist?'

Thought 2:

Context of Psalm 139

the psalmist has been amazed

by God's presence, majesty

and incomprehensibility

"Words of Another" 1:

The Message -

please God, do away with

wickedness for good...

away with [those] who belittle you

infatuated with cheap God-imitations

"Words of Another" 2:

Contemporary English Version

kill all cruel and heartless people

Final Thought:

I too, experience this range

of emotions

like the psalmist, I am

amazed. humbled. awe-struck. angered. devastated.

perhaps

it is a healthy response

to despise and hate wickedness

perhaps

i need to dialogue these things

with my God

because i cannot be the judge

i am not sure

about evil and wickedness

and how to combat them

but i am hopeful, nonetheless



Homesick

I'm not surprised.
Or regretful.
I know homesickness.
I've experienced it before.
I'll experience it again.

A good friend reminds me:

"Its part of the process of travel and staying." ~ Joe Bundy

And staying.

That's the part that's painful. and beautiful.

Because I am where I should be.

Because I will return home

and the homesickness will shift.

I will be homesick for Korea. for home.

It's the difficulty of living
with intention and purpose
of choosing to be passionate about
where you are
who you are with
what you are doing.

Difficulty arises because
I love the moments I have lived
the moments I am living
the moments I will live.
I do not regret living life this way.

So, when homesicknesses sets in

I embrace it.

I welcome it.

I experience it.

Because it will pass.

Because it reveals where my heart is

and has been

and remains.

And the tears
the pain of being away
wouldn't happen if it weren't for
beauty. joy. friendship. community. comfort.
'that which has been my delight'

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” -Kahlil Gibran

Home

has always been so good to me.

My only response

is to miss it.

To be homesick.

I received the sweetest

hardest story in my inbox today

it ended with:

"I miss my friends." said by

the sweetest 3 (almost 4) year old boy I know.

I couldn't have said it better.

I so badly want a song that goes with my emotions.

But I can't find one today.

(Typed while finishing off a Maple Machiatto from Angel-in-Us Coffee)

Back in the Game

If we were playing a competitive sport with Korea
she would have been winning last week.
We were losing.

What I mean is, sometimes, the cultral
differences
are different
and difficult

Being faced with these differences and difficulties
put us in the losers corner and Korea in the winners bracket.

The game was better,
not when we were winning
but when we were on the same team as Korea.

However, this week, Korea started playing dirty:

Miscommunications ... Attempted Communications
Cultural differences in the Importance of Vacation
and Being with one's Spouse for the Vacation

Importance and Bind of Contracts

Work hours Incompatible with bank hours
Banks closing earlier than stated.

Spicy food and odd Sea Creatures
for dinner

Smells of sewage
Soju drunks
Unfaithful husbands
5:00 am 'wake-up calls'

Korea was destroying us.
Winning.
Defeating this otherwise happy
and content American Couple.

BUT
Have. No. Fear.
We're back in the game.



Saturday
Not only did Korea decide to play fair
She started playing with us.

A lovely fall hike
on a non-too-crowded 'mountain' trail

Fabulous food provision
rice cakes with beef on top, mandoo and cheese filled pork cutlets

Spectacular thrift store finds
winter coats for the man and woman of the house

Cheesecake and Apple Pie
celebrating a dear new friend

Bowling.
with dear new friends

We can do this Korea, we can do this.
You may win on occassion
but we're not giving up
not yet, not now.

(Typed while enjoying the last mug full of Apple Cider Taste Alike from the tan mug inherited upon my arrival in Korea)

Dear 13

Dear 13,

The next 12 years are going to be hard, challenging and beautiful. I want to prepare you for what is to come, without taking away from the experiences you are guaranteed to have. I want to offer you some words of wisdom that you will take to heart, that you hold dearly and you will attempt to live by. I want to protect you from being hurt and prevent you from hurting others.

My hope for you, is that you will be nothing less than confident in your personal appearance and attributes.  But take caution, the greatest confidence is that which builds not only the self up, but those who come in contact with it.  What I'm trying to say is; love who you are, be confident but 13, don't do it at the cost of others.  They too need to be confident in their beauty and character.

Don't worry about fashion trends and fads. You have style. Style that's all your own! Live it up! Wear the oversized earrings, leggings and you can even tease your bangs if you want to. If you love the way it makes you look, that's all that matters. (Not to mention, I can confidently tell you it will all eventually be fashionable again).

Don't date. Non of the men your interested in for the next 12 years are worth the heartache that will follow. You can say no. Enjoy your girlfriends, you'll have the opportunity to know some of the world's most beautiful souls. Don't let the opportunity to know them deeply pass you by.

This next bit will be a little harder for you to hear and for me to write. You have no understanding of this, you have no idea that you do this to yourself, but 13, stop playing dumb. You are an incredibly intelligent young lady and you have some thoughts that are beautiful, poetic and encouraging. Embrace the intelligence that is rightfully yours, don't fear being isolated or rejected; those who love you at 25 will love you for the truth and depth of who you are. I promise. I know them. Because I am your 25.

The next 12 years will be challenging. I can't change that for you. Honestly, even if you listen to this advice, it's too late. Twelve years have passed. And even though you didn't live out all these words of advice I've offered, you've still grown to be a beautiful young lady.

Grace and peace darling,
                   ~25

P.S.

A dear friend of mine, Erin recently wrote a blog in the form of 'I wish I'd known then...' which caused me to spend much time reflecting on the same concept.

What would you tell your 13 old self if you had the chance?

(Typed while drinking stainless steel contained water while I should be posting discussions for my Masters program ^^).

Meditation: II

“I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it” — Harry Emerson Fosdick

I saw this on a new favorite blog: SmartPrettyandAwkward

It essentially puts into one sentence what I've been wrestling with and meditating on in Psalm 139: 17 -18

In the New International Version, the words are phrased:

"How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake, I am still with you."

My number one realization while reflecting on these verses
were expressed perfectly by the Contemporary English Version
"Your thoughts are far beyond my understanding."

I am surrounded
by mystery
I cannot
comprehend it.

To me:
this is Beautiful

I spent days thinking about the thoughts of God.
What are they?
How do we know?

And, I thought
His thoughts
are expressed by His Word
are shared with His Sons and Daughters
in prayer
in solitude
in relationship

Yet
even still
the thoughts of God
are veiled
surrounded
by mystery
they are
uncomprehendable.

But so precious
to reflect on.

(Typed in two parts: part 1 - freezing in my English classroom, part 2 - enjoying a perfectly delicious mug of hot chocolate from an inherited light brown mug)