Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Homesick

I'm not surprised.
Or regretful.
I know homesickness.
I've experienced it before.
I'll experience it again.

A good friend reminds me:
"Its part of the process of travel and staying." ~ Joe Bundy

And staying.
That's the part that's painful. and beautiful.
Because I am where I should be.
Because I will return home
and the homesickness will shift.
I will be homesick for Korea. for home.

It's the difficulty of living
with intention and purpose
of choosing to be passionate about
where you are
who you are with
what you are doing.

Difficulty arises because
I love the moments I have lived
the moments I am living
the moments I will live.
I do not regret living life this way.

So, when homesicknesses sets in
I embrace it.
I welcome it.
I experience it.
Because it will pass.
Because it reveals where my heart is
and has been
and remains.


And the tears
the pain of being away
wouldn't happen if it weren't for
beauty. joy. friendship. community. comfort.
'that which has been my delight'

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” -Kahlil Gibran

Home

has always been so good to me.
My only response
is to miss it.
To be homesick.

I received the sweetest
hardest story in my inbox today
it ended with:

"I miss my friends." said by
the sweetest 3 (almost 4) year old boy I know.

I couldn't have said it better.

I so badly want a song that goes with my emotions.
But I can't find one today.

(Typed while finishing off a Maple Machiatto from Angel-in-Us Coffee)

7 comments:

Stephanie said...

home. it misses you too. we all miss you, but fully know that you are right where you need to be. those wonderful people you get to interact with daily will be so thankful for your season with them. they are blessed by you daily. as we were when you were here. my prayers are lifted as you embrace your homesick feeling. please know you are thought of nonetheless as you are away. we love you and praise Jesus for you! enjoy your day today my friend!

Anonymous said...

This is very beautiful, Melissa. I hope this feeling lifts soon so you can more easily enjoy your current surroundings. It is wonderful that you see where that emotion is coming from and why, but hopefully, it will let up and you can fully embrace Korea yet again. You are missed, but you will be back. And in the meantime, I love reading posts like this that reaffirm your passion for the life you lead and the many ways in which you chooose to do it, despite the difficulties associated, such as this. Oh, happy day! :)

Annalise said...

Today, I was talking to my roommate who is thinking of studying abroad about you and I's conversation this summer about the choice to travel, the doors it opens and the things we leave behind.

Also today, I was considering how I am currently more homesick than I think I have ever been. And I know I'm not quite in Korea, but this post describes my feelings so well.

Thank you for writing so beautifully. Thank you for giving me wisdom on travel, on choosing to live a big and beautiful life. Thank you for being my friend and having a heart that understands mine. :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

P.S. Top 5 songs to try for such a feeling:

5. "The Heart of Life" -- John Mayer
4. "Going North" -- Missy Higgins
3. "The Simple Life" -- The Weepies
2. "Back to Where I Was" -- Eric Hutchinson
1. "Where Do I Go" -- Marie Digby

Micah and SaraJane said...

Wonderfully written. Thanks for sharing your heart in such real ways, and sorry to bring this on. Just want you to know that our hearts continue to miss you. Love you so much!

Unknown said...

My most heartfelt thanks to each of you.
Steph - thank you for missing me and encouraing me.
Erin - thank you for your hopes and knowledge of songs -- I was hoping you'd add your 2 cents in that regard.
Annalise - I love you. and your heart.
SaraJane - Thanks for 'bringing it on' I love being pushed into moments of reflection no matter how difficult.

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