Meditation: VII

Shortly after Meditation VI I posted this response to the pain being experienced by a handful of friends.

Two months later, I'm still in the same passage of scripture.

And I need it now as much as I wanted to share it with others then.

Mourning and Comfort.

Matthew 5:4 says

"Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted."

 

Mourning has followed us to South Korea.

 

Two times now. In the form of loss.

My Grandpa Al.

Mike's god-father and unlce Rick.

 

The two men we've said good-bye to across the oceans are two men who

most desired to be next to the Lord.

 

My heart rejoices that they have made it.

My heart desires to carry out their memory. their legacy.

by living an honorable life

by seeking the Lord

by loving Him first

by extending love, grace and blessing

 

The Message rephrases this verse in the following way:

 

Blessed are you when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you for you will be

embraced by the One most dear to you.

(Typed while in the beginning stages of enjoying a silver travel thermos of Korean Coffee Mix 'coffee')

Things I Know

Here are some things I know:

My head is constantly swimming - with thoughts, ideas, to-do lists, recipe ideas, lesson plans, goals, etc.

My birthday is when I make 'new year's resolutions' - so the days preceeding my birthday are filled with potential 'resolutions'.

I wish I had more time to read.

More time to process. More time to experience. More time to rest. More time to understand.

I wish I understood how to best balance my time.

I know there are a number of things I 'should' do.
I know there are a number of things I want to do.
I know there are a number of things I can do.
I know there are a number of things I don't want to do.
I know there are a number of things I have to do.

I know my heart is more content than I give it credit for.

I know that cooking, baking, conversations, cups of tea, glasses of wine, time to journal (or blog), succesful lesson plans or discussion posts, hugging my man, petting my dog, laying in bed, being outside and a series of other things - Bring me Joy.

I know that I connect with people better in small settings rather than large.

I know that I'm a good hostess.

I know that my life is beautiful - some of that beauty has come from pain and I expect pain to continue bringing beauty.

These things are on my mind and in my heart as I seriously consider...New Year's Resolutions.

Schooled

The following is the compilation of a couple days thoughts, a way for me to process through things and in no way reflects my current state of being...I'm sooo incredibly happy here and in the teaching field. I just need to process through some things.

So much has been running through my poor little head.

I've really been yearning to have time in this place. This blog. Another blog. A Journal. My bed.

I just want to understand what's going on around me.

My 'catch phrase' in Korea has become:

Living here is easy, it's working here that's tough.

Cultural norms are a lot more noticeable in our work environments

Education is a field that is loaded with it's own cultural norms

Nearly everything I believe regarding education is challenged here.

Discipline is viewed differently

Assessing and testing is viewed differently

Challenging students is viewed differently

Purpose of teaching is viewed differently

Equality and Justice are viewed differently

And one more thing, Obama has NO idea what he's talking about when he says America should look to Korea's education system for inspiration. That's a load of crap. From my vantage point anyway. (Just needed to get that off my chest).

I miss working in a school environment where every teacher was devoted to offering the best education possible for each individual student. I miss having co-workers who trusted me, my ideas and things I wanted to try with students. I miss students who were free to show the full range of their emotions, to struggle with learning, to succeed in small things and receive huge celebrations.

I don't miss restraining students. I don't miss being hit, kicked or bitten. I don't miss understanding the hierarchy and pompous personnel's attitude's about my position and abilities.

As I work in education and pursue a Master's Degree in Education, I realize two things:

I'm passionate about this work.

This work will never be all that I dream it could be, it will disappoint.

I'm just learning to be ok with that.

To understand my drive and my passion in context of the world. In context of other drives and passions. Because here's the thing, maybe I could make education everything I want it to be in my educational situation, but then I couldn't have a marriage I'm amazed by, look forward to having children to serve and live life with, be intentional in friendships, cook and bake as I desire (and need), etc.

I'm okay with these passions of mine and I'm learning to be okay with the limits the world puts on those passions coming to full fruition.

I have a long way to go. But having this place to let it out, it's comforting in a way. A way to better understand what's going on in my head and my heart.

(Typed while...drinking nothing? Not during the second go around anyway and frankly, I don't remember the first go at things)

Book: Curry ~ A Tale of Cooks and Conquerors

Curry: A Tale of Cooks and Conquerors by Lizzie Collingham

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Were every history told in context of food and food culture/progression, I believe I'd know a lot more about world history. If any part of you has a love or interest in: history, India, or Indian food, you will find this an interesting and insightful read. In addition, when choosing to purchase this book, you not only receive a history as told through cuisine, but a dozen or so recipes to fit each stage of that food history.

View all my reviews

In addiiton to this review, a few passages which were of particular interest to me:

"Eating local-grown rice fills the villagers with the nature of their home and binds them to their community. Before setting out on a journey a traveler is required to eat large amounts of village grown rice, to fill him with the essence of home." (pg. 4)

"Psycohologically tea breeds contentment. It is so bound up with fellowship and the home and pleasant memories that its results are also magic." (pg. 199)

"The neutrality of tea makes it easier to share with impunity with members of a caste normally rejected as eating or drinking partners." (pg. 201 - in context of Ayurvedic principles and tea's entrance into India's societal 'norms')

Obviously, the chapter regarding Chai Tea was my favorite, for soo many reasons including tea's ability to break down barriers and the chai tea recipes included at the back of the book.

(Typed while drinking *gasp* Coffee Mix from a small mug  which showcases sweet little homes, trees and clouds with the words 'My Happy Life' at the top...if only I had a good chai...)

About a Dog

A few things I love about having this dog:

• Morning walks in the cool, fresh air on a plot of 'unspoilt' city soil where birds are happy to sing and grass and trees are eager to grow.
• Visible excitement expressed in pawing, twirling, running and pleading with her eyes offered at meal times and upon our return home.
• The Spin and Sit.
• A personality which shines and glimmers, one that says "I'm yours" and "Even though I'm yours, I'm not doing that" (i.e. Wearing Rainboots)
• Her eagerness to be near us; held, pet and enjoyed
• Her willingness to let us go about daily affairs and tasks without being a nusance.
• The way she fits our life and our season better than I would have ever imagined was possible.

A few things that have been 'shake-my-head-in-frustration' moments due to this lovely face:

• Her desire to chow-down on my hair in the middle of the night like a crazy-person and with such determination it was slightly terrifying (completely unsure what product the hairdresser used...)
• Upon returning home last night, discovering 2 pair of my not-so-abundant-supply of undies chewed to shreds! Followed by trash strewn through the bedroom.

(Typed having recently finished two-mini-sized paper cups of coffee mix: instant coffee, creamer and sugar - a little shaky.)

Mourning and Comfort

Two months ago I was entering the Valley of Shadows
with some dear and beloved souls.

My heart was breaking for and with them.

I'm being drawn to that place again.

The trouble with being so far away
is that I carry these burdens just as if I were there
but I miss the opportunity to cry, to hug, to pray
with these beautiful souls, beautiful souls
who are being broken.

The beauty of being so far away
is that I carry these burdens just as if I were there
my heart is downcast, my sould aches for a redemption
that reaches every corner of every heart ache the world over.

Matthew 5:4 says

"Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted."

I beg the Lord to make good on this promise
I trust the Lord to make good on this promise.

To those whom house beautiful souls which break in this season
you're on my heart and in my prayers --

(Typed while sipping coffee mix from a delicate and cherished Yellow Teacup)

Meditation:VI

Approximately one and a half months have passed since I used this space to mull over and work through some scripture. However, I've been mulling over a bit of scripture and am quite excited to share some findings and have a place to put them down. First of all, I really enjoyed being in Psalm 139 for an extended period of time therefore I've decided to continue forth with scripture memory in a similar fashion and will spend the next few months in Matthew 5:3-12 ~ The Beattitudes. I'm also considering remaining in the red words of the Bible throughout 2011.

To begin this round of meditations, Matthew 5:3

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

What does it mean to be 'poor in spirit'?

From the perspective of various translations, here is what I learned:

Blessed are those who...

are at the end of their rope

are humble, who rate themselves insignificant

realize their need for [the Lord]

depend only on Him

realize their spiritual poverty

who recognize they are spiritually helpless

are spiritually needy

know that they need Him

Initially, this passage really tripped me up.

Sometimes, I read: Poor in Spirit (i.e. Holy Spirit)

rather than sprit, personality, character, need.

Seeing these translations help me to see just how

blessed

we can be when we recognize our need for Him.

(Typed while finishing off a Brown Bone China mug of Earl Grey with a bit of Sugar and Milk)