June 2012: A Month of Gratitude

Just realized that this post is my 200th post.

Glad I'm marking the occassion by giving thanks.

French fires + Coke + Good Book. Wicked, the Musical. Little Black Dresses. Little Blue Dresses. Classical Cello Concerts. Pat-bingsu! Alla and Hyunhee stopping by the OEC while Mike hangs out with his students. Korean countryside. Mid-week holidays with Hyunhee and Hakcheol. Meeting Korea's wisest "old geezer" on the bus. Taco-K dinner with a co-teacher and her fiance. BBQ's on the river with fantastic company, great meats and equally great brews. Skyping Holly and Kolt. Being ahead on lesson planning. Visiting with Garrett and Alla. Inspiration to create Banana Beer Bread. Encouraging words via SaraJane on gChat. Thought-provoking insight from Erin. Encouraging words about finding value from Mindy. Daejeon's best burger with Mike, Harris, Aaron and guest appearance by Paul and Lucy. Encouraging chat session with Annalise. Encouragement from my mother. Muju. Blueberry Pie. Mulling over the words of Donald Miller. Hard Apple Cider. Enjoyable school lunches. Feeling the voice and presence of the Lord. gChat's with Mark and SaraJane. Seaweed Paper. Bon-Bon Italian with Joe, John G, Paul and my man. Hearing the words, "we're going to Laramie," confidently spoken. Tears of Joy. Sharing exciting news.

Spilling

In my quiet moments, as of late, I mull over possible titles for a post, here at Tea with Melissa. The place I feel most comfortable sharing some of the deeper parts of me (although, you may not know it with all the book updates and goals with nothing else in between ^^).

I've considered poetically titling a post: Crossroads.

Doubt and Certainty serving as the primary theme.

Doubt that I'll land my dream job.
Doubt that I'll (we'll) have a job at all come September.
Doubt that I have what it takes.
Certainty that moving on is the call of the hour.
Certainty that all we need will and has been provided for.
Certainty that I have what it takes.

I've considered a simple post with a title such as: Processing or Updating

Rambling serving as the primary theme.

Expressing that, at this point, in my life in the life of my husband and I, we are soul searching and job searching. We are in love with two nations. We are in love with adventure and traveling and time to engage in such activities. We are longing for Wyoming, but so incredibly intentional with our finances that it seems foolish to bail on South Korea when there may still be perfect opportunities here to save and work a few more years toward the life we've always dreamed of. However,  Wyoming has dangled in front of us an opportunity so perfectly suited to our desires (and to my education and experience) that our hearts are yearning even more deeply for our homeland and the family and friends we have there, while simultaneously aching the truth that Korea is not our forever home and some of the people we've added to our community here may sooner than expected be half a world away.

And job searching is exactly what it's cracked up to be: stressful and disappointing and at times utterly thrilling in thinking about the possibilities. And time-consuming. And requires ridiculous amounts of paper work and document tracking and scanning and sending -- and all that's before an interview.

So maybe we'll be in Wyoming by September. Perhaps in a dream job, preparing to build a home of our own and with a promise to visit this second home every year or two if even for a short time. Perhaps among our prior community who loved us so dearly and have contributed to who and where we are with their love and support and encouragement. Perhaps crashing couches, looking for flexible work as substitute teachers of eBay entrepreneurs. Or, maybe we'll be in South Korea, relocating on the peninsula. Transitioning into a University position looking forward to more flexible schedules and longer vacations.

But we don't know. And there's currently no indication of when we will know these answers. So, we just sit and wait and hope and pray.

I've considered titling a post: It's a Beautiful Life.

Because I love Ace of Base.
And because through all of this, I'm seeing just how beautiful and perfect my life is for me, our lives are for us.

Because when we leave places, we aren't escaping.
We're leaving behind family and friends who love us and support us and who are eagerly awaiting our return, miraculously without pressuring us to do so in a time-frame that suits their own desires.

Because when we arrive in places, we aren't excluding.
We're immersing and living intentionally because that's what we've learned produces results that feed our hearts and our souls. We recognize this place is temporary, more so than any other we're likely to settle into, yet our previous experience in community resounds and reminds us that intentionality and meaningful relationships and big and small experiences are worth the heartache that will one day be good-bye for now, until I don't know when.

Because when it's time to move forward, we aren't alone.
We have this beautiful life due to these beautiful people and as I sit so frequently, in confusion and uncertainty about what the (near) future holds, I am humbled and astounded by the degree and depth of friendships I have established here, there and everywhere in between. And whatever it is we decide, whatever it is that comes to fruition, I know we will move forward with the world's greatest support team, no need to escape, only a need to continue on with love, compassion and intentionality.



But now, in this moment, I just needed a place to spill all of these thoughts with their own flow, their own style, their own focus.


We're at a crossroads. And while we stand here, waiting for direction and confirmation, we cannot help but notice all that has brought us to this point and how simply astoundingly beautiful it all is.

(Typed while finishing off a most amazing and refreshing Blueberry-Cucumber smoothie from my very own kitchen using my very own home-made  yogurt ^^)

A Month of Gratitude: May 2012

Spontaneity - searching for tickets to Tokyo. Dalk-galbi with new and entertaining friends (student teacher's from Nameson Middle School - Suhyun, Ellen and Yujin Leah). Hearing my dad sing a song he wrote via YouTube. Attending the Korean non-verbal performance JUMP, martial arts and humor. Little Black Dress. Sipping on Mike's BEST hard apple cider! Leftover blueberry pie. Reading and enjoying Hyunhee's company. Remembering our proposal story. Processing relationships, how I view the Bible, my faith, etc. Anticipation. Reunions and meetings in busy subway stations with my dear Mindy Litton and her boyfriend Alex. Friendships that span years and miles. Support and love from The Thread. The life of Mandy Litton. Ocean view accompanied by the peak of Mt. Fuji. Japanese Ramen. Morning naps. Banana Bread. Google chatting with Mark and SaraJane - dreaming of the future. Laughter. Bursts of motivation. A husband who loves me. A pup who loves me. B-boy and Ballerina - amazing performance enjoyed with the great company of Garrett and Alla! Cheap doctors and pharmacy visits. Younglan's kindness in bringing me chicken soup when I'm sick. Sympathy from co-workers, sleeping in the nurse's room rather than teaching. Currently being employed. Help and Advice from SaraJane and Liz. Submitting a complete and proudly completed application for my dream job. Morning orange juice on the banks of a small river. Green Tea naeng-myeon. Morning walks through wooded forests and fields of green tea. Anticipation. Emails/FB Messages from women I love, Mindy and Rachell. Learning to be a better pet owner.

(Typed while sipping iced green tea from a sweet little glass)

A Month of Gratitude: April 2012

Chacos. Strawberries. The miracle of new life. Re-connecting with Younglan. Cancelled classes. The Hunger Games movie. The way others love Mike and are drawn to him, the life he lives and the way he compliments me. Warm weather. 2 Hour Skype dates with my parents. Easter dinner with my gents and my man. Cherry Blossoms. Mid-week holidays. Turkish Breakfast. Hearing Mike speak about our vows. Passionate and Impressive student speeches. Vibrams. Coffee dates at cafe's filled with plants and a good friend Yeo Ock and her sister. Afternoons and Evenings with Hyunhee. Honesty. Celebrations. The life of my beautiful sister Luella. Squealing laughter with my sister on her Birthday. Banana Bread Rice Porridge. Skype. Sound of Heavy Rain. Subway sandwiches. Erin Cochran. Dinner and hanging out with new friends, Matt and Dani. Student creativity and laughter. Baby giggles and smiles. Golden birthday. Seeing stars while lying next to my man in a bustling city. Morning movie dates. Sangria with lady friends, Alla, Jenelle and Stephanie. Running happily, running without stopping, running with a smile - first 5K complete. Remembering my history and years spent with the man. Laughter.

(Typed while sipping Korean tea from my work thermos)

A Month of Gratitude: March 2012

Sharing Spiced Hot Choco with Jacqui and Pedro before they leave. The Hunger Games. SaraJane's Friendship. Time. Coffee date with Yeo Ock. Green wool coats, mustard colored scarves and hand-crocheted head-bands. Constant tapping at the classroom windows of students waving hello. Better than expected. Snugly husband. Encouragement from S.J. Amaretto Chocolate. Pajamas. Skyping with Mark, followed by Matt and Jen. Support and love from Cailin via FaceChat. The soothing orange glow of the sunrise and the sunset, all in one day. Nights filled with joy, laughter, 'family' and Costco trips. Evening walks. Finding the PERFECT green nail polish. Loves notes in unexpected places. Silence. Afternoon visits with Garrett and Alla. Polka-dots. Sore muscles. Ice Cream Sandwiches. Sweet, thoughtful, personalized gifts. Surprisingly delightful coconut rum beer from the Rum Boat. A patient and grace-giving husband. Watching my man on the soccer field. Thai Coffee. Traditions (Valentine's meal preparation). Stretching. Knowing I'm still loved and thought of at 519. The way Lady makes me laugh til I cry, who knew dogs were so entertaining? Morning cuddles with Lady in the Big Comfy Chair. Cookies, warm from the oven. Time for lounging and reading. Rainboots. Swap meets and impromptu potluck dinners.

A Month of Gratitude: February 2012

Mid-day cappuccino. First Thursday night Meet-ups in Gung-dong (my favorite Daejeon neighborhood). Friday nights. Coke and Red Wine while laughing and speaking with a Redneck accent. Sacred Places. Feeling personal progress in regards to 'hatred'. Home 'theater' dates with the man (Mr. Popper's Penguins and Kung Fu Panda 2). Giggling 'with' Lady Annyeong as she discovers the joys of bed-top forts (i.e. being under the covers). Creativity and Laughter from students. Unexpected encouragement regarding married life. Teaching with Hyunhee. Earl grey tea with milk and sugar. Brown Bone China Mug. Matt and Jen's arrival, tears of joy, warm embraces and picking up where we left off. Drinking a White Russian, snacking on walnut pastries and chatting with Jen and Whitney. French Fries. Rooftop dining in Ho Chi Minh City (fried goat in coconut milk and cheese wrapped in tender beef slices atop lettuce and tomatoes, all topped with fresh cilantro). Supporting former street children and orphans by eating delicious and beautifully presented food. Being broken hearted for past crimes of war and those of this century. Shade of coconut palms on deliciously warm days floating through the Mekong Delta. Waking before the sunrise to enjoy peaceful strolls and the beginning of a new day. Carrot Smoothies. CouchSurfing Hospitality. Vietnamese coffee enjoyed ina Vietnamese Garden Cafe. Being spoiled by my man. Reading on the beach. The view from plane windows. Tender and flavorful roasted chicken wings at 4am. Returning home, to friends, new and old, good food and rolicking good times. Kiva. Being reminded that I am a valued and cherished friend. Knowing that the beauty of the friendship trumps the pain of transition and the changing scene of our imediate community.

(Typed while sipping oolong tea from Taiwan)

The Gift of Laughter

A dear, dear friend of mine recently sent me an email that included a challenge to find Joy in the form of Gifts throughout the month of February. If you happen to be familiar with the popular book (unlike myself) One Thousand Gifts, this idea/challenge may seem more familiar.  Regardless, I was intrigued and encouraged by the PDF that landed in my inbox and thought I'd make an earnest attempt to keep my eyes posted for various gifts. One which I most recently enjoyed was the gift of laughter, three instances of laughter to be exact.

To find Joy in your daily life, check out these ideas for February and/or stop by One Thousand Gifts Facebook Page.

So as I opened my eyes to the subtle gifts and suggestions for finding joy in the day to day I was beyond thrilled to see that laughter was on of the gifts I was to give my attention to. The day which I set aside to listen for and appreciate laughter offered ample opportunity to soak up this joyful gift of human nature.

As a teacher, working with children, I've had countless opportunities to laugh and to hear laughter, it's an aspect of this profession I forget to give thanks for on a regular basis.

As a teacher in South Korea these laughing-stock opportunities continue to abound, yet occassionally require a bit more coaxing on my part. Students are committed to study and are all-to-familiar with rigourous classroom rules, lecture style presentations and straight repetition of facts. I'm lucky to at least work in one of the nation's more 'controversial' and 'independently-minded' subjects, that being the English language. Language learning requires a loss of inhibition, mine have been barely holding on for some time, so I find it relatively easy to bust out 'baby' voice or funny pictures or put on a short song and dance number.

But the joy of laughter, the gift, that I most recently relished was student generated and all the more glorious as such.  With a co-teacher and insanely dear friend, students were enouraged to create their own short role-play based losely on an 'old favorite' such as Cinderella, Tom & Jerry, The Ugly Duckling, Snow White, etc.

Our students have shown a deep and unflagging love or role-plays throughout the year, so they jumped into the project with two feet and hilarity ensued. I believe our students found themselves to be capable of such ridiculous re-interpretations of famous stories using minimal English that there was no hope in holding back th laughter. A personal favorite moment was watching students re-enacting some innocent Disney classic or anotherand confidently inserting a Matrix-esque fight scene. Not only were they doubled over with laughter, but we the teacher's were equally amused and overjoyed by the students use of their prior film and acting knowledge.

It's been cold, gray and a bit dreary in South Korea for some time now. The school year is just ending and with it will go some of the stability of partnerships and professional relationships I lean on so heavily. Regardless, there is reason to laugh, and laugh we did and laugh we will.

(Typed while finishing up a thermos filled with instant Maxim Mocha Latte, thanks to this Korean life)

A Month of Gratitude: January 2012

As part of my January 30 day challenge I reinitiated the upkeep of a Gratitude Journal which essentially requires me to record a minimum of 5 things for which I can be grateful for each day. Here are the top picks from each day in the month of January - a glorious reminder that even though I've hated sitting at desk with nothing to do, my life is beyond beautiful and blessed. Hope you were able to recognize all of life's gifts throughout the month of January 2012!

Fresh memories of family visits and family love. Creative picture making with Students. Redneck Life with John, Whitney and Alla. The unexpected Facebook chat with Cailin, drop-in visit from Hyunhee. Hilarious texts from my "cold noodle soup". Italian dinner for two with Jenelle. Facebook posts which point toward visitors whose family name starts with 'M' and rhymes with 'Bullen'! Afternoon naps. Books that stir my soul and passions, providing thought provoking matter. Watching my sweet Lady and Man rest peacefully together. Floor heat. Ethiopia and her people. Sweet Tangerines. Annalise. Banoffee. Laughter. Phone calls home, hearing the voices of my beloved, healthy parents. Cafe Latte and free cheesecake in celebration of a completed master's degree. Conquering spent grains yet again! Leggings. Erin Co. Long Island Ice Tea celebrations with Josiah and Jenelle. Skype calls with SaraJane. Short flights. Delicious ham and cheese crepe breakfast with milk tea for under $5US. Sleeping in. Fog covered mountain views accompanied by sipping oolong tea. A place to sleep comfortably and warmly and the money to cover the cost. Subway sandwiches. Tandem bike adventures through crowded Asian streets and along the boardwalk of Danshui, Taiwan. The magic of hundreds of sky lanterns filling the night sky, sending forth the wishes, prayers and hopes of the people. Selling Navajo Durango (bittersweet, really). Rice Pudding. Skype and encouragment from Holly.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

(Typed while washing down a triple berry pastry with a white paper cup of cappuccino, both from Paris Baguette)

Needs

Today I'm realizing some 'needs'

I needed this and this.

I needed this
to further confirm my love and need
of Love

I need this
Because it doesn't feel an ounce
like Christmas -- and I need it to.



I needed a bus driver who dressed as
Santa Claus
and gave away candy.

I needed a Korean co-worker
to send me this song mid-morning


I needed to re-read these words from a friend
"I think thats my soul recognizing that your soul is extraordinary. I see something in you that many people don't have, which is an ability to love wholeheartedly. I want to thank you for that! I think a lot of people are scared to love with all parts of their heart, but yet you do it daily. That's pretty incredible."

I need to know that a good friend
will soon be arriving...
and that we will hug.

I need to let go of some things
to move on
get over it
have some conversations
bake some cookies
write some blogs
and breathe.

I need encouragement. love. joy. Christ.

I need to remember it's Christmas.

(Typed with nothing to drink but because I needed to. I needed to remember what has brought joy in the last few days and that even though today is tearing me down...I have all I need and more.)

Silver Linings

A dear friend of mine
posted recently about
'Silver Linings'
about investing ourselves
now. in this moment.

What am I loving? Where can I invest my time? How can I be intentional with my time?

What are the silver linings?

• The 'expat' community - new friends that are making this transition easier than it should be.
• My Students - the ones who run up to me, just to say 'hello' because that's the extent of our common language.
• My new co-workers - their kindness and encouragement as I feel out this new experience.
• The beautiful people who didn't come to Korea but who comment of blogs, post on Facebook, send emails and make time for Skype chats.

I am not lacking in silver linings.
My hope now, is to honor those linings
those blessings
and give myself to them
with intentionality.

(Typed while enjoying a plate full grapes, tangerines, bananas and rice cakes after completing my first Open Class)