Books 2012: Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage

Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage by Kay Bratt
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This memoir is about many things: harsh realities of a Chinese Orphanage, living as an expatriate, being a mother and a wife, navigating culture and serving your passions. Many passages are hard-hitting and tug at the heart-strings with unbelievable force. At times, the writing, which is presented in journal format/excerpts from the authors journal, feels like just that - raw emotions which paint a country and it's people too harshly and too drastically from the vantage point of Western ideology and prosperity. As an expat in East Asia, I can understand many of her frustrations toward cultural norms - I'm just not sure all of them are honorable to publish with such a critical tone.

In reading this story, I think it's important for the reader to a) recognize this is the story of one orphanage and one volunteer who happened to witness horrendous things - things which should be brought to our attention but may or may not be true for all of China's orphanages and likely happen throughout the world, even in developed nations and b) this is her journal, her raw emotions, it's not censored to be politically correct and that's fine, that's what journaling is intended for- a place to safely vent frustrations and wrestle with our perceptions of anything and everything including a nation and it's people.

I really, REALLY loved reading the letters at the end of the book and seeing how much hope there was in this place which so often showcased darkness.

"I wanted to transform the often vacant, detached expressions on their innocent faces to ones of animation, of joy, of life. My new goal became demonstrating to each child how it felt to be loved and nurtured." (location 129)

"I would never fail to be astonished that a child so young could cry so silently, without movement or expression, while so clearly craving human touch. It was as though they had given up on the hope of receiving even a moment of comfort or attention to alleviate the misery of their prison-like existence." (location 145)

"I had known helping these children would make me feel good in so many ways, but I'd never counted on the profound sadness I would deal with daily." (location 190)

View all my reviews

A few other notes:

I think about adoption quite regularly. Perhaps because one of my best friends adopted a child who quickly became one of my favorite. Lately, I've been having a lot of conversations with my Korean friends about adoption, because we're all at that age or point in our marriage when everyone wants to know - "Are you going to have kids?" It's been interesting and really ought to call for it's own post because it's been incredibly insightful and heartbreaking. Heartbreaking in some of the same ways this story is heartbreaking. Heartbreaking in that sometimes, honestly, culture holds us back. Puts restrictions on things which should be explored and embraced freely. I had so many emotions in reading this book. Mostly of a bleeding heart. But, at times, I was also frustrated with the author. She lived in China, for three years before bucking up and using a squatty potty -- and even then it was out of complete desperation. But she grew. And I guess that's what matters. Because I've lived in South Korea for 2 years and most definitely haven't overcome each of my cultural boundaries - so, I suppose I should lay off my judgement and comparisons and simply enjoy this book for the heart and passion expressed and the thoughts which it leads me to ponder and to share.

(Typed while sitting at my desk with nothing to drink but my own thoughts.)