The following is the compilation of a couple days thoughts, a way for me to process through things and in no way reflects my current state of being...I'm sooo incredibly happy here and in the teaching field. I just need to process through some things.
So much has been running through my poor little head.
I've really been yearning to have time in this place. This blog. Another blog. A Journal. My bed.
I just want to understand what's going on around me.
My 'catch phrase' in Korea has become:
Living here is easy, it's working here that's tough.
Cultural norms are a lot more noticeable in our work environments
Education is a field that is loaded with it's own cultural norms
Nearly everything I believe regarding education is challenged here.
Discipline is viewed differently
Assessing and testing is viewed differently
Challenging students is viewed differently
Purpose of teaching is viewed differently
Equality and Justice are viewed differently
And one more thing, Obama has NO idea what he's talking about when he says America should look to Korea's education system for inspiration. That's a load of crap. From my vantage point anyway. (Just needed to get that off my chest).
I miss working in a school environment where every teacher was devoted to offering the best education possible for each individual student. I miss having co-workers who trusted me, my ideas and things I wanted to try with students. I miss students who were free to show the full range of their emotions, to struggle with learning, to succeed in small things and receive huge celebrations.
I don't miss restraining students. I don't miss being hit, kicked or bitten. I don't miss understanding the hierarchy and pompous personnel's attitude's about my position and abilities.
As I work in education and pursue a Master's Degree in Education, I realize two things:
I'm passionate about this work.
This work will never be all that I dream it could be, it will disappoint.
I'm just learning to be ok with that.
To understand my drive and my passion in context of the world. In context of other drives and passions. Because here's the thing, maybe I could make education everything I want it to be in my educational situation, but then I couldn't have a marriage I'm amazed by, look forward to having children to serve and live life with, be intentional in friendships, cook and bake as I desire (and need), etc.
I'm okay with these passions of mine and I'm learning to be okay with the limits the world puts on those passions coming to full fruition.
I have a long way to go. But having this place to let it out, it's comforting in a way. A way to better understand what's going on in my head and my heart.
(Typed while...drinking nothing? Not during the second go around anyway and frankly, I don't remember the first go at things)
4 comments:
I'm glad you're getting it out. Continue being you; you will be a blessing even when you cannot see the gains being made. You are a gift to so many! I'm proud that you're pursuing more in the field of education -- we need you! All our love friend!
Ditto what Stephanie said.
You are fantastic and I wish there were more with your heart and love for people, children, education, learning, and loving.
So wish that we were talking about this in person. Especially your last two paragraphs. This is something that runs through my mind almost daily as I continually struggle to find balance amongst ALL of the passions so deeply embedded in my heart. Miss you so much, but am especially missing our constant conversations had over a cup of tea about such things. Love you lady!
I am sad that you are frustrated, but happy that you feel you can express it. I am full of joy that you still want to pursue education and that you will continue to be a light to so many more kids in the future. I am amazed at your heart and how you are always sharing the positive in your life. Your love outshines any bad, because your love for people, children, learning and educating comes from our Father. Love you!!!!
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